


to thine own self (be ₕ ₖ ₗ ₘ )

by troubleseason (cats_cradle6766)



Category: SPICA (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Deception, Dishonesty, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Pining, Weddings, lying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 07:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8046802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cats_cradle6766/pseuds/troubleseason
Summary: All things considered, it’s actually a beautiful day.





	to thine own self (be ₕ ₖ ₗ ₘ )

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jungtaeh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jungtaeh/gifts).



> I hope that you enjoy this story. It has been extremely fun to work with and planning and writing it has been a wonderful experience. I can only hope that you feel the same while reading it.

All things considered, it’s actually a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the venue is gorgeous, and pretty much the entire event is quiet well laid out and coordinated. None of the bridesmaids are wearing atrocious colors, the groomsmen all look sober, even the subtle fusion of Korean traditional practices with the Romanticism of the Western wedding is done tastefully. It’s not something that can be achieved easily, something that Hoseok knows from watching too many dramas in university and working with Seokjin that one time Seokjin had the terrible idea of running a catering business. 

Needless to say, the business didn’t last, though fortunately Seokjin’s ability to still book well-paying wedding gigs persisted.

“I still don’t get why I’ve got to do this,” Hoseok mutters, watching as Seokjin pulls him away from the general ceremony to go set up the stage for the reception.

“Because Jinyoung usually plays it on the fast pieces and you understand what a downbeat is,” Seokjin says, rolling his eyes. The hint of amusement is there though, tugging in the shadow of Seokjin’s lips. “Plus, every band needs a Tambourine Man.”

“I’m very sure Yoongi would disagree with you,” Hoseok points out, glancing back to where Yoongi sits behind the grand piano that the bride and groom somehow managed to transport out to the middle of a field.

“Yoongi isn’t the manager,” Seokjin reminds him, turning into the event tent. “That’s your job today.”

If Hoseok is going to be honest, he still doesn’t entirely know why he agreed to do this whole thing. Despite how much he loves his friends, Seungwan and Yoongi in particular, and struggles to ever really say no to Seokjin when Seokjin so much as _thinks_ about looking disappointed, this really is a terrible idea. Sure, the vast majority of Hoseok’s life is spent managing teenagers and their inability to shoulder responsibility as he ships them all over the globe, but bands are different. Bands are full of musicians who are also adults and all know more about bands than he does from his limited knowledge of living with Seokjin and Yoongi respectively. Despite being unqualified, Hoseok had said yes, and has spent a lot of the day basically keeping to a premade schedule and keeping track of people and equipment and shaking out his hand when it decides to get numb.

Something he still doesn’t entirely understand, and which is beginning to get extremely annoying, considering he needs his hand to play the Tambourine and do important things, like hold stuff.

“I’m still pretty sure you guys could have done this without me,” Hoseok says, leaving Seokjin to fiddle with the mics and stands as he goes over the sound equipment. 

“Then you’re here for moral support,” Seokjin calls back to him. 

“We all need someone to stroke our egos,” Jaehyung says, emerging somehow from behind a pole with a smirk, sipping from a thermos. “Plus, everyone needs a Tambourine Man.”

“See?” Seokjin says, throwing Hoseok a smug self-satisfied grin. 

“Fine,” Hoseok says. “Is Chanyeol here yet?” 

“Still in traffic, though if worst comes to worst I think the groom can beat-box,” Jaehyung answers, carefully pulling his guitar from its case and tuning it. His role earlier had been to play soft ambient guitar music while people got settled, situated up at the venue where the current ceremony is taking place.

In all honesty, the wedding is very nice. The couple and families are clearly loaded, but it results in a tasteful and nice wedding, rather that one of those that’s gaudy and irritatingly just for show. It’s also booked outside, which Hoseok wasn’t sure was a good idea considering all the rain they’d been having, but luckily today is beautiful. The bride and groom had both greeted him, and the rest of the band. The groom, Jongdae, had spent a bit of time getting to know him, explaining that he’d been in close communication with Jinyoung about the band and was sad he couldn’t make it. 

It was a little unsettling, to be honest, how Jongdae appeared to be entirely genuine, enough to make Hoseok feel out of place and unwelcome when he’s here as a ‘tambourine playing manager’ when, in fact, he is none of those things. 

“Well, at least we’ve got a back up plan,” Hoseok sighs, digging out his cellphone regardless to check on Chanyeol. The string group is still up front, adding a bit of ambiance to the ceremony, the event nicely broken up with music chosen by both the bride and groom that ‘illustrates their love’ or ‘connection,’ or whatever. Really, it’s all very romantic, enough to set Hoseok’s teeth on edge and get his skin crawling in agitation and, though he doesn’t entirely want to admit it, envy.

It’s not because it bothers him, it’s just-

“You okay?” Seokjin asks, sneaking up on him as he’d typed away a message to Chanyeol. Seokjin gives a soft chuckle that sounds apologetic when Hoseok startles, and immediately his hand is on Hoseok’s shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t-“

“You’ve lived with me for five years and you still do that,” Hoseok tells him, not looking up from his phone. “It’s like you don’t know me at all.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I know you better than anyone does,” Seokjin laughs, hand slipping just a little down and lodging that tightness in Hoseok’s throat, right where he doesn’t need it. 

It would be so easy to contradict him. So, so very easy, but…

“They’re doing the last piece,” Jaehyung calls over to them, interrupting this spectacularly tense moment Hoseok can’t figure out how to exit. Bless him. “Time to set up.”

“I’ll go and find the groom and see if he’ll beat-box at his own wedding, shall I?” Hoseok offers, stepping away from Seokjin to _breathe_ again.

“No need,” Seokjin calls, peering out of the tent. “Chanyeol just got here. You can see him in the car lot. He’s the only one taller than any of the cars.”

“I trust your eyes,” Hoseok tells him, watching as Juhyun and Sooyoung finish up the final notes of the piece they’re playing to a soft sweet finale. “Remember, no alcohol and no drinks.” 

“At least not at first,” Jaehyung laughs, and continues to sip from his tumbler when Hoseok glares at him.

“I promise I won’t drink,” Seokjin tells him, passing him towards the refreshments bar that’s set up outside the tent.

“Of course you won’t, you’re scared you’ll mess up your voice,” Jaehyung calls. He throws Hoseok a sort of knowing grin, like there’s a very good joke waiting to be understood. Hoseok ignores it, instead making sure all the wires for the equipment pose no threat to people tripping over them and either falling or destroying expensive equipment.

Chanyeol shows up right as the ceremony ends, his huffing entrance distracting Hoseok from the final kiss that’s supposed to be so important. “Sorry I’m late,” he gasps, a bit of sweat shining on his brow. 

“We had a back up plan,” Jaehyung tells him, patting his arm as Hoseok leaves them to go round up the rest of the band from the field venue. 

It’s no small task, especially considering some of the help they were supposed to have ended up vanishing and Hoseok, Yoongi, and few groomsmen end up being the ones to bring the piano back into the tent. “I thought you were playing keyboard for the rest of the night?” Hoseok asks when the piano is finally under cover.

The look Yoongi throws him is positively withering. “You don’t just leave a grand piano outside, Hoseok,” he says, like he’s never really seen Hoseok before in his life until this moment and it’s a truly displeasing experience. “It’s a crime.” 

“No, it isn’t,” Hoseok points out, with a small amused laugh.

Yoongi grumbles something about how it should be as he tries to mop at the sweat at the back of his neck. Hoseok isn’t listening though, instead distracted by the activity in the tent itself. Most of the guests have arrived by now, plates of food before them at the various scattered tables around the dance floor, and the wedding party is arriving as well, their photo session clearly over. That’s not what mostly has Hoseok’s attention though. Instead it’s one of the groomsmen near the stage, chatting with Seokjin as Seokjin attempts to do something and Hoseok recognizes the downward slope of Seokjin’s shoulders immediately. 

“We good to go?” Seungwan asks, stepping up from where she’d been tuning up both her sax and the second guitar (electric, considering she and Jaehyung usually trade off). “Manager?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok says, shaking himself and checking his watch. “Yeah, we need to get going. I’ll go grab Seokjin. Can you get Youngsun up for the first few numbers?”

“Aye, sir,” Jaehyung calls, already heading towards the stage with a few bottles of water.

By the time Hoseok reaches Seokjin, the other man is gone, but Seokjin looks the same. Shoulders slightly tense, his fingers checking and rechecking everything he touches, and the way his back is curved just slightly all say he’s uncomfortable. It sets Hoseok’s teeth on edge. “You okay?” _Of course he’s not okay, Hoseok, just look at him._

“Fine,” Seokjin says absently, glancing up. There is some consolation, or a lot considering, when Seokjin’s gaze lingers and the tension begins to fade before he lets out a small laugh. Shaking his head, Seokjin’s previous demeanor softens, returning him to his usual self. “Sorry, I just- yeah, I’m good now.”

‘Now’ implying that he hadn’t been before. “Okay,” Hoseok says, nodding towards the stage that is quickly filling with the band. “I put you at third on the line up. Thought you’d like to catch your breath.”

It’s there, in the line of Seokjin’s smile, the way his shoulders relax, and the way his eyes soften, that he knows Hoseok saw, and he knows Hoseok knows. It’s there even if Seokjin doesn’t say anything, just nods and says, “thanks for the heads up.”

When Hoseok looks again for the pestilential groomsman, he’s lost, buried somewhere in the crowd of people. After that, the band gets on stage, and clearly knows what they’re doing better than Hoseok does. Yoongi had written up a set list already (and is slightly miffed Hoseok messed up the starting order despite how he says “whatever”) so the whole ensemble mostly runs on its own. It is by the fourth song that the beats pick up a bit and Sooyoung shoves a tambourine into his hand, laughing.

The problem about playing and performing in a wedding band is that it is definitely necessary to know the songs that are being played in order to function properly. The problem is that Hoseok has no idea what song this is and thus is reduced to just doing his best to hit the proper beats with various claps and shakes of the tambourine in his hand. There might, in other circumstances, be some novelty in playing with a professional grade tambourine, but at the moment it’s lost on Hoseok as Yoongi keeps staring at him in horror from his place behind the electric keyboard.

“Nice work,” Seokjin tells him after one of the songs Hoseok isn’t even sure was supposed to have tambourine. 

“I’m pretty sure Sooyoung would do a better job,” Hoseok admits as the band takes a brief respite for water. 

“Yeah, but you’re more fun on stage,” Seokjin says, turning away from the microphone to laugh and smile at him. He looks wonderful, the pale blue button down and gray slacks, the ideal vision of a wedding singer with Youngsun beside him in her pretty yellow dress. “You always make the music more fun.”

“Or funny,” Yoongi mumbles when Hoseok steps back, the next song a slower piece without tambourine (thank God). “I never knew you played tambourine.”

“I’ve played loads of times, just not around you. I prefer not to subject myself to the burning musical critique,” Hoseok tells him loftily, letting out a poorly suppressed yelp as a sharp pain stabs him in his hand. Glaring, he looks at Yoongi, expecting to see him as the culprit for the injury.

Instead, Yoongi is just watching him, brow furrowed slightly in confusion as he sets up the sheet music for the next few songs. “You okay?”

Hoseok’s hand tingles slightly, the ring from Yuuko feeling heavy, and he wiggles his fingers to try to restore normal feeling. “Yeah,” Hoseok says, a little shaken. “Yeah, fine, just reacting.”

“To what?”

“Life,” Hoseok answers. 

The rest of the set progresses smoothly, Hoseok spending half of his time chatting and watching with Sooyoung and Song Qian and the other half on stage doing his best impersonation of someone who can actually play the tambourine. It’s not that bad, once he stops thinking about it. Song Qian and Sooyoung are also surprisingly excellent company. Before, when Hoseok used to go to Seokjin’s random gigs, he barely had time to really talk with them, but they’re very nice and Song Qian has a wicked sense of humor that Hoseok finds himself quite enjoying.

“Hey,” says a voice right when Youngsun and Seokjin are finishing up another duet, singing to each other in faux romance. 

Turning to look at the speaker, Hoseok almost double takes when he realizes it’s the man from before, the one who was making Seokjin look uncomfortable. He’s handsome, Hoseok will give him that, but he’s handsome in the kind of way that CGI characters are handsome: too perfect and therefore eerie and not to be trusted. It could just be that Hoseok is biased given witnessing his prior interaction, but Hoseok immediately does not like him.

“Hi,” Hoseok answers, subtly sitting up a bit straighter, dropping his shoulders back to broaden them. Good posture and all that. “Can I help you?”

“Just wanted to give you a heads up,” the man says. Now Hoseok can place him, remembering seeing him in the wedding party, standing close to the groom and leading around the other groomsmen. Best man. Of course. “The speeches will be starting soon, and then the couple dances. You guys have stuff for that, right?”

It takes a considerable amount of effort for Hoseok not to sneer “do we have stuff for that,” like a petulant teenager. Instead, he smiles the best smile he has for Best Man figures, and nods. “We’ve got it covered. I’ll let the band know to wrap it up after this.”

The Best Man doesn’t thank him, just nods and says, “good.”

“Charming,” Hoseok says as soon as the man is out of sight, not missing the way his eyes linger on the stage.

“It’s a wedding, it inspires the urge to take someone home,” Song Qian says when Hoseok moves back to where she’s sitting. “Weddings are just a giant party for people to have sex for the first time. What did you expect?”

“Decency,” Hoseok says flatly. “I’m very sure most people getting married these days have had sex prior to ‘the big day’ though,” Hoseok adds as Sooyoung hides a laugh behind her hand. “Speeches are next, so I guess it’s a good time for a break. Give us all some time to stretch and get drinks or nap.”

“No one is napping,” Song Qian says with a laugh as Hoseok catches Yoongi’s eye and communicates with him silently to end after this song. Yoongi nods.

“Darn,” Hoseok says, smiling a bit as he turns back. “I was so looking forward to one.” He watches as Yoongi silently passes around the message to the musicians on stage, each of them answering his cryptic looks with a small nod. It’s always amazed Hoseok how Yoongi can communicate nonverbally, an entirely different language that he is almost obnoxiously fluent in. That and he’s fluent in Hoseok’s drunk keysmashes, which even Hoseok is illiterate in.

When the song ends, Seokjin announces over the mic that the band will be taking a short break, and invites the next segment of speeches and talks to begin. “Thanks,” Seokjin says as Hoseok pushes a water bottle into his hand as soon as he’s off the stage.

“They don’t have tea,” Hoseok explains. Being only needed for a few numbers, Hoseok had managed to circumvent the entire reception area, taking good stock of the bar and discovering they only had coffee (which Seokjin refuses to drink when singing), booze, and water. “I tried my best.”

“Where’s mine?” Yoongi asks, finally leaving the stage last after shutting down all the equipment except the mics for speeches.

“At the bar,” Hoseok tells him. “They’re keeping it cold for you.”

“Favoritism,” Yoongi grumbles, heading off as Seokjin chuckles lightly, taking a sip of his water. 

“How are you holding up?” Seokjin asks, sinking down into Hoseok’s vacated chair.

“I’ve discovered my new passion,” Hoseok says, hands pushing into his pockets. Seokjin’s hair is a bit out of place, just enough that Hoseok itches to reach out and gently brush it back, running his fingers through the soft strands. Instead, he presses his fingertips into the lining of his pockets and clears his throat. “Managing wedding bands.”

“Not Professional Tambourine player?” 

“Nah, I can’t take all the glory,” Hoseok shrugs. It makes Seokjin laugh again, pausing from taking another sip of water, and that makes Hoseok smile. It always makes Hoseok smile. “Jinyoung should watch out or I’ll steal his job.” 

“I’ll let him know,” Seokjin says around a grin. In his pocket, Hoseok’s hand twinges slightly, the same pain he’d had when talking to Yoongi. This time he suppresses the wince. 

The band after that spends their time stretching, wandering around the venue to get the blood flowing, Chanyeol and Henry tuning up some of the instruments and bringing in the brass for the second half of the set. Seokjin ends up vanishing for a while to the bathroom, leaving Hoseok to explore the food and listen to the wedding speeches. Overall, they’re actually quite nice. The Maid of Honor is actually both funny and adoring, and the Best Man, despite how Hoseok is already negatively biased, actually delivers a great and touching speech. The newly married couple, through the entire thing, are a vision, smiling beautifully and happily at each other and their friends and family, hands held over the white tablecloth at their table. It’s all very sweet, human, and with just the right amount of romance. 

It’s all very perfect. Exactly how weddings and dreams come true are supposed to play out. 

Hoseok looks away, taking in a short breath he wasn’t aware he needed, trying to push down the dull ache of emotion that isn’t explicitly happy but a strange twisted parody. It’s that same feeling that ends up having Hoseok moving before he’s aware of it, before he can think, stepping closer to Seokjin when he gets back from the bathroom to fix his hair that still isn’t right.

“How do I know you aren’t just messing it up?” Seokjin asks him, obedient and still under Hoseok’s hands.

“Have I ever led you wrong?” Hoseok asks him, and then scrunches up his nose when Seokjin fixes him with a pointed look. “Don’t answer that. Have I ever led you wrong intentionally?”

“You should stop digging yourself deeper into that hole, you’ll never get out,” Seokjin chuckles, finally taking Hoseok’s hands and stilling them. He steps back just a bit, a full view, and looks at Hoseok expectantly. “Better?”

_Best_ , would be so easy to say if it didn’t come with a cargo ship of negative consequences. “You’ll do,” Hoseok tells him, tugging his hands out of Seokjin’s grip. It’s tempting to let them stay there, but Hoseok knows better. Hoseok knows how dangerous that kind of idea could be.

“Excuse me,” says that interrupting voice from before. The Best Man is back, eyes on Seokjin this time and a very pleasant smile on his face. It’s as if Hoseok isn’t even there. “I just wanted to let you know we’ll be doing the first dance soon.”

“Thanks,” Seokjin says, nodding and smiling at the other man. It’s restricted though. Hoseok narrows his eyes. “I’ll let the others know.”

“Thank you,” the Best Man says, smiling and nodding. “I’m Junmyeon, by the way. You guys sound great up there.”

This ‘Junmyeon’ never introduced himself before, and Hoseok watches as Seokjin keeps smiling and nodding, stepping back to the stage. “Glad to hear it,” Hoseok cuts in before Seokjin has to answer. “It’s nice to know we haven’t been a disappointment.”

Junmyeon’s eyes snap to him, almost as if he’d never seen him there, and there’s a strange look in them that may be precision and may be rum. It’s hard to tell, really. 

“That was nice of him,” Seokjin says as he gets ready to go back on. It would be so easy for Hoseok to call Seokjin out on being too nice, on taking people for their best and not for being suspicious. It would be so easy to tell Seokjin that he’s pretty sure Junmyeon is more invested in ‘personal interests’ than specifically ‘nice’. Yet Seokjin is nice, he’s wonderfully nice; he likes to see the good in people. 

People like his parents, people like Hyosang and Namjoon. People like Hoseok.

So Hoseok says, “yeah, it was. No wonder he’s Best Man.”

Seokjin is the kind of person who still laughs at a terrible joke like that as if it’s the funniest thing he’s heard all day, face crinkling up in humor, eyes lost to the world. Seokjin is the kind of person who still finds Hoseok funny even after knowing him for almost a decade and rewards even his worst jokes with that same squeaky hiccupping laugh that is almost the exact audio replica of a faulty windshield wiper.

And Hoseok is so stupid over him it’s embarrassing.

“Is this going to be another one of those days where you can’t look at each other without laughing? Because we have a set to finish,” Yoongi says, watching them. Seokjin bursts into laughter all over again when Hoseok smiles at him, which drags Hoseok laughing too (figures). 

“Probably,” Hoseok says as Seokjin tries restorative breathing to calm down. He bursts into giggles after two and a half breaths. Hoseok can’t stop grinning at him (Yoongi notices with a very obvious look in Hoseok’s direction and is obviously exasperated with them both).

“Alright, I’m separating you two,” Yoongi grumbles. “Hoseok, go load up the ceremony gear and bribe the bar for tea. We don’t need tambourine for at least another four songs.”

“Not coffee?”

“Youngsun has a sore throat,” Yoongi says, gently pushing Seokjin on stage away from Hoseok. “Plus, I doubt the newlyweds will want their ballad interspersed with giggles.” 

“You never know,” Hoseok says. “Yeah, okay, I’m going,” he shrugs, letting out a small chuckle as he leaves under Yoongi’s tolerating look. He knows well enough to recognize the small turn of Yoongi’s mouth though, knowing if they weren’t on a gig, Hoseok and Seokjin would be allowed to continue at the sacrifice of their own diaphragms. 

The rest of the material that needs to be loaded into Chanyeol’s van is actually minimal, Jaehhyung helping him as the string musicians are once more on stage for the slow dances. Jaehyung is delightfully distracting, bouncing from topic to topic and answering Hoseok’s questions and jibes with quick wit and snappy grins. He even tells Hoseok he’s “not that bad” when they finish and wander back to the refreshments bar. Jaehyung leaves him then, going to get ready for another song, and Hoseok is left to navigate the young bartender.

It takes a few tries, and a lot of shameless cliché flirting, before Hoseok manages to get the young woman to cave and confess to no tea on the premisiss at all. She does, however, compromise and offer to make him a honey-lemon drink that is ‘sure to sooth sore throats.’

“You’re a hero,” Hoseok tells her, leaning against the bar and watching her smile at the praise. “Seriously, thank you. Smart and pretty, I hope you know how valuable you are.”

“My grandmother used to make this for me when I was sick,” she explains, mixing together the tea. “She’d usually add ginger-“ Hoseok resist the urge to blanche “- but we don’t have any right now. I hope they like it,” she adds as she hands over two steaming mugs.

“I trust in your concocting skills,” Hoseok tells her with a wink. “I’ll come back and test them again later.”

Youngsun is sitting out when Hoseok sneaks back behind the stage, holding her throat carefully with a soft wince. She looks at him gratefully as he hands her the hot drink, mouthing “thank you.” Taking a sip, she immediately lets out a soft sigh, as if finally given relief.

“We’re gonna need you for the next few numbers,” she says, her voice slightly scratchy. “The couple asked for a set of swing music to dance to for everyone. Apparently they met swing dancing.”

“That’s adorable,” Hoseok says, looking out at the dance floor where the newly wed couple are dancing with a bit too much drama and laughing in each other’s arms. They are adorable, really. Soojung, the bride, now wife, throws her head back in laughter before her husband dips her, resulting in another round of bubbled laughing.

Hoseok’s fingers curl over his thighs. 

“Think you’re up for it, Tambourine Man?” Youngsun asks, mouth quirked in a smile.

“I was born ready,” Hoseok tells her. The mug of lemon-honey tea for Seokjin will get cold, he thinks as he goes to find the tambourine.

Hoseok was not born ready to play the tambourine, as it turns out, but he damn well tries to pretend he was. ‘Fake it till you make it’, or something like that from a _TedTalk_ Seokjin once made him watch. Either way, Hoseok doesn’t really regret it when the band takes a break, the whole group looking winded and flushed and the guests on the floor looking the same.

The tea is cold by the time they get off stage, and Hoseok is left helping to put away the string instruments and load them into the van as Seokjin goes to get water. It’s nice, really, and Hoseok finds himself glad he’d decided to help out today rather than stay home and do nothing.

“You make a good manager,” Seungwan tells him, throwing an arm around his shoulder. “Next time Jinyoung has an emergency, you’re hired.”

“I’m not doing much,” Hoseok admits. 

“Neither does Jinyoung,” Seungwan says, then laughs. “Though he does perform with us more and trades with Seokjin a lot. You’re just better comedic relief and better company.”

“So I’m the upgrade,” Hoseok says, and Seungwan laughs out a yes, dragging him close into a side hug. It’s warm, not just the weather, but the feeling of her arm around him. The overall feeling of _warm_ , where most of today is awkward and uncomfortable and starched in pomp and circumstance, the rest of it is warm, welcoming, and full of laughter. It’s full of love and joy and _warmth_.

It’s an odd mix that Hoseok enjoys. 

Back in the tent, they find the bride and groom finally cutting the cake, the whole audience cheering and laughing as Soojung and Jongdae make a spectacular show of shoving cake into each other’s face and hair. They both look ridiculous, Jongdae especially with a fondant flower stuck on his ear, but it’s also the most wonderful thing Hoseok has seen in a long time. 

Not since …

“Where’s Seokjin?” Juhyun asks, stopping by with a few plates of wedding cake to pass around.

“Don’t give him one of those yet,” Hoseok says, accepting one for himself. “Hates sugar when performing. We should save it though. I’ll save it.”

“No,” Juhyun laughs. “I know that, I mean, I haven’t seen him in a while. Have you?” 

“We were loading the van,” Seungwan says, eyes flickering to Hoseok briefly. “So no.” The cake that Hoseok has just put in his mouth probably tastes amazing, but at the moment it’s a bit ashen and sticky, stuck to his tongue. “Why?”

Juhyun shrugs. “I’m just not used to him mingling, considering he’s, you know, _Seokjin_.”

“I’ll find him,” Hoseok offers, shoving more cake into his mouth. It looks normal that way. “You guys set up, I won’t be long.”

The guests are actually quite hard to navigate, and it’s a considerable amount of time before Hoseok is able to finally locate Seokjin by one of the tent poles at the far end. He’s standing against it, holding a fancy plastic cup with what is presumably water in it, and talking with someone through a thin smile.

It’s the same expression he’d worn earlier when talking to the same man he’s talking to now; the Best Man. The Best Man Junmyeon who is currently looking Seokjin up and down like a fox surveying a flustered cock. Over the crowd of people all talking and eating cake, Seokjin catches Hoseok’s eye and holds it, pausing in the middle of saying something.

It’s not long enough for a message to pass between them, but it is long enough for a feeling, and it’s uncomfortable. It’s enough to have Hoseok wanting to push his way through the crowd and drag Seokjin away, even if he knows that is _not_ what Seokjin would want. Thankfully, he’s spared from his internal conflict when the speakers give a loud crackle and Yoongi announces that the band will begin again soon, and Seokjin darts away, vanishing into the crowd.

The band can live without a tambourine man for a while, Hoseok decides, and heads to the bar to get himself a drink. 

There are lines, borders, where Hoseok has drawn limitations and restrictions in order to make sure that things don’t get out of hand and fall apart in his fingers. They exist for all of the people Hoseok knows, they exist for himself, but they especially exist with Seokjin. It’s not specifically easy to explain the entire thing, but the short story is that Hoseok has been so gone for Seokjin for so long that the threat of losing Seokjin because a line is crossed is more terrifying than this semi-torturous friend-zone. At least this way, Hoseok has Seokjin and there’s no constant threat of losing him.

There are lines though, where Seokjin is allowed to do what he wants to do because he _doesn’t_ have any right to stop Seokjin from being with others out of selfish interest. There are lines where Hoseok walking up to Junmyeon and telling him to back off because it’s digging under Hoseok’s skin like knives to _stay away_ isn’t his job. It’s not his place.

It’s not what he is for Seokjin even if…

“Do you have espresso?” Hoseok asks his favorite bartender.

“Quite a turn around from tea, though I hope you will settle for cold brew,” she says, one eyebrow raised. At Hoseok’s nod, she fills a clear fancy plastic cup from a tall glass bottle of Dutch coffee. “Still treating that sore throat? Or is it fatigue now?”

“No, this one is for me,” Hoseok says, pushing for a smile. The band starts up again, and Hoseok doesn’t look as he hears Seokjin’s voice through the speakers. “For my sanity. Playing that tambourine takes more effort than you’d think.”

“I just thought it took coordination and the ability to count,” says a now irritatingly familiar voice. Slowly, Hoseok turns to the side to take in the very familiar image of Best Man Junmyeon. Junmyeon, with a sort of self satisfied smirk on his face, asks the bartender to get him a Johnny Walker before he glances to Hoseok and _winks_.

This asshole.

“You’d be surprised,” Hoseok tells him, accepting his cold brew the bartender hands him and turning to Junmyeon. Junmyeon may not realize it, but this is war. Very subtle probably passive aggressive war, but war none the less. 

Junmyeon looks at him like he’s more than happy to shred him, before he _smiles_ and shrugs. “So you’re with the band?”

“I’m their manager,” Hoseok tells him, and, for insurance, takes back his entire drink in one go. May as well, considering the temptation to throw it in Junmyeon’s face every time Junmyeon blatantly stares at the stage and directly leers at Seokjin (which is very often).

“So you know the lead singer,” Junmyeon muses, taking a sip of his whiskey. 

“Youngsun,” Hoseok clarifies, decidedly non-threateningly.

“No, Seokjin, the hot one.” Junmyeon manages to sound condescending and praising at the same time. It would be impressive if it weren’t infuriating. 

There are two options. One is that Hoseok can stand here and wage blatant hostile war with this man over a person neither of them can have (like Hell Hoseok is letting him near Seokjin if he can head him off – Hoseok knows better than anyone Seokjin’s dislike of ‘one night slanders’). The other is that Hoseok can not get angry or upset and instead screw around with Junmyeon instead, which might actually be far more satisfying.

Done.

“I can’t argue with you on that,” Hoseok says, leaning back against the table beside Junmyeon and turning to stare at the stage, and inevitably, Seokjin. It’s easier to just stare at Seokjin, considering Seokjin doesn’t make him want to punch something and looking near Junmyeon definitely does. “He is really hot. Handsome hot, like sexy with class and a dash of cute. And that’s just the start of it, really.”

Junmyeon makes a humming sound of agreement as he takes another sip, nodding his head. He lets out a sort of sigh. “I bet he handles well. Man, I’d love to be the one taking him home after the reception.”

Stuffing one hand into his pocket, Hoseok balls it up into a fist to keep his cool. He nods, still watching Seokjin as his mind begins to race. _Chill, keep it chill. Figure out a way to get Junmyeon to totally back off without threatening him. Why would it be impossible to take Seokjin home tonight if-_

Hoseok clicks his tongue as his thoughts tumble to a halt at a very stupid (or brilliant) idea. “Whoever gets to is definitely a lucky man,” he agrees, watching Junmyeon from the corner of his eye. He smiles, trying to appear easy, confident, relaxed, non-threatening. 

“You know him, right?” Junmyeon says, finally turning to Hoseok and setting down his whiskey carefully. His full attention is now on Hoseok, as if evaluating his utility. “You’re the shi- I mean, the tambourine guy.”

Gritting his teeth together to keep his smile from turning vicious at the obvious slip, Hoseok nods casually. “Depends on who’s asking really.”

The look Junmyeon flashes him is smooth (that’s the only way to describe it really), where in he looks relaxed, confident, and knows exactly what he’s doing and expects it’ll work. “I’m a harmless and decent as they come kind of guy. Could you maybe drop a few good words? Hook me up?”

_Harmless my ass._ Hoseok takes a moment, blatantly considering as he internally imagines shoving a cocktail umbrella into Junmyeon’s ear instead of answering him. Finally, he shrugs, shakes his head once, and looks back to Seokjin on stage, finishing up a melody line. “Not really.” 

If anything, Junmyeon looks amused, almost like Hoseok giving him a challenge is making this more fun. “What’s stopping you?”

It is at this moment where Hoseok’s brain, his beautiful big brain, decides that it’s all or nothing and Hoseok may as well go big or go fuck himself. “His husband,” he says. It turns out his brain is brilliant, the resulting look on Junmyeon’s face priceless beyond compare.

It takes a moment for Junmyeon to reel himself back in and gather his composure, a moment of time which Hoseok desperately enjoys, his irritation morphing deliciously into satisfaction. Shaking his head, Junmyeon looks back at Seokjin, lets out a low whistle as if in awe, and asks, “who bagged that?”

Considering the last time Hoseok had trusted his brain had worked out, Hoseok decides _’fuck it_ ’ and says, quite firmly, “me.”

Junmyeon looks at him then, only him, then slowly, just as he’d done with Seokjin earlier, rakes his eyes up and down Hoseok’s person, as if sizing him up for dinner. Then, he slowly tilts his head, as if passing him off and realizing Hoseok isn’t about to back down despite his pleasant composure. This is wise, considering Hoseok can feel his teeth beginning to ache with the smile he’s clenched them into. It aches, just like the hand he’s balled into a fist in his pocket, the ring from Yuuko-

_Of course._

Slowly, but with purpose, Hoseok pulls his hand out of his pocket, raising it to eye level so the gold band flashes in the sun, sitting finitely on his fourth finger. And just as slowly, Hoseok lets his smile slip into a smirk, watching as Junmyeon’s eyes fix on the ring and a flicker of irritation, disappointment, and defeat passes over his face before he locks it down into cool composure once more.

Hoseok knows he’s won when Junmyeon looks away quickly, taking in a swift breath. “Ah,” he says, then lets out a chuckle, once more reaching for his whiskey. “Congratulations, then.” Junmyeon nods to him, not quite meeting his eyes, and entirely avoiding looking at Seokjin. Hoseok’s hand aches as he lowers it, probably from holding it in a fist for so long, but that doesn’t quell the satisfaction pulsing through him.

It was just enough (though admittedly it is the most extreme answer he could give) to get Junmyeon to totally back off. There’s no challenge in his posture, his countenance, just the poised admit of defeat and relinquishment of any messed up pompous claim Junmyeon was trying to make. It is with intense pleasure that Hoseok grins, hands once more tucking into his slacks, and says very clearly, “thank you.”

After that, Junmyeon goes totally silent, and within moments has excused himself to go and talk to the groom, which is a shitty cover in Hoseok’s opinion. He’s been exposed and he knows it, and Hoseok has no desire for him to stick around and further antagonize him.

It’s only a few moments after Junmyeon has left, where Hoseok is back to staring at Seokjin, when the bartender startles him. “That was pretty cool.”

Starling and turning, Hoseok sees his favorite bartender smiling at him beside the display. He shrugs, feeling a bit warm at being caught or watched during the whole thing. “Consider it a lesson,” he says. “There are good guys like me out there among the assholes like him.”

She sighs with a sort of pretty laugh behind it. “Unfortunately, all of you good guys are either taken or married or gay,” she says. “Or, in your case, all three.”

It slaps Hoseok in the face then, what’s just happened, and what’s just transpired, enough that at the same time he feels a rush of warmth there is a terrible dreading cold that floods him. What’s worse is that they’re surrounded by people, and if Junmyeon finds out Hoseok isn’t Seokjin’s-

Who says he has to find out?

“Bisexual,” Hoseok tells the bartender, stepping back to get to the stage as fast as possible. He has people to talk to about his sudden and very serious marriage. “Don’t lose hope so fast.”

Backstage, only Seungwan and Henry are seated, the others either taking a break or on stage. “Hey,” Hoseok says as soon as he sits down with them. “So, I need you two to be in on something to preserve Seokjin’s good name.”

“Is someone gonna kill him?” Henry asks, looking almost excited.

“No, they want to fuck him, but that’s besides the point,” Hoseok explains hurriedly as Seungwan immediately goes through the full spectrum of surprise, scowling, and skeptical attention in exquisite facial detail. “The Best Man wants to take Seokjin home – or to a hotel - and I just told him we were married.”

“You just married the best man?” Henry asks, looking confused. Seungwan appropriately smacks him up the back of the head.

“Seokjin and Hoseok,” Seungwan clarifies. “Keep up, and no more cake.” She turns to Hoseok. “You’re an idiot.”

“Definitely, but that’s not the point,” Hoseok says hurriedly, watching as Junmyeon wanders around the guests, looking a bit put out. “In case he asks around, can you just-“

“Lie?” Seungwan finishes for him.

“Say you and Seokjin are married? Got it,” Henry says, and gives Hoseok a very cheery thumbs up. “You two make a convincing couple anyway. _And_ you live together.”

“Bonus,” Hoseok says hurriedly, watching as Seokjin trades off songs with Youngsun and makes to leave the stage. “Okay, thank you, bless you.” 

Seokjin has the kind of look on his face that says he’s barely seen Hoseok talking to the others and knows something is coming his way that he should be prepared for. “What did you do?” he asks without preamble.

“Okay, so you know that guy? Junmyeon?” Hoseok asks quickly, pulling Seokjin to the side, away from sight as best he can. “The Best Man?”

Seokjin’s face clouds for just a moment, as if remembering something unpleasant, then it clears and he nods, looking only confused and listening. “What about him?”

“He was hitting on you, right?” 

At this, Seokjin looks a little more uncomfortable. “It’s nothing I can’t handle, but I wasn’t-“

“He just tried to ask me to set you two up so he could fuck you after the reception,” Hoseok says very bluntly and quickly before Seokjin can go the ‘he might be decent under his plastic’ route. It works, Seokjin’s mouth snapping closed and the mixed look of shock and anger flashing over his face. “So, I ended up heading him off, and the guy was determined so I just- I told him we were married so he would back off. So, just- yeah, he thinks we’re married. Surprise!”

For a long moment, in which Hoseok’s heart pounds in his chest, in which he watches Seokjin and feels that fragile little hope inside that this wasn’t a total fabrication, in which Seokjin stares at him with slightly wide eyes, his mouth open to a little ‘o’, in which time decides to extend into a millennia, Seokjin simply stares at Hoseok in silence. Then, unexpectedly, Seokjin bursts into laughter. Full bodied, windshield wiping, beautiful laughter where he staggers because he’s so full of humor and Hoseok is ridiculously hopelessly in love with him despite all better logic that this is not the best decision in Hoseok’s life to date. 

“What did he say?” Seokjin manages out between laughs. The laughs are awful because they’re actually wonderful and Seokjin isn’t mad, but at the same time he’s laughing at Hoseok and he being theoretically married, and that-

Well.

“Congratulations,” Hoseok says, ignoring most of himself which is deciding to become exceptionally ‘emo’ at present. He doesn’t have time for his emotional state to go to shit in a handbasket. “Anyway, in case he asks, if you, uh, if you don’t actually want him to bother you, then I guess-“

“You’re the best,” Seokjin tells him, suddenly, unexpectedly, amazingly, and the next moment Hoseok is being wrapped up into a full body hug. It’s so sudden, so warm and intense that for a moment Hoseok has no idea what to do and briefly loses control of all executive motor function. Seokjin fully commits to this hug and Hoseok stands there like a limp fish, staring in the void wondering if this is really happening to him.

“I’m-“

“Seriously, I didn’t really know how to shake him off earlier, and especially since he’s the one that helped to hire us, it felt rude to-“ 

“So it’s okay?” Hoseok cannot believe this. There’s not resistance to this at all, instead Seokjin looking absolutely _delighted_ at the idea that the Best Man of this wedding appears to believe he’s married to Hoseok. Very married to Hoseok. As in lives with and is married to and is _involved_ with Hoseok willingly because he chose to be and-

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Seokjin asks, still looking that beautiful mix of relieved and amused. “I think it’s genius. I can’t believe we haven’t pretended to do this in the past. Remember Eunji?” Hoseok wishes he didn’t. Oh no. “It would have worked perfectly to get her off your case if you’d told her you actually wanted her to be your beard. It’s fine. If it’s you, it’s fine. I’m glad it’s you.”

_If it’s you, it’s fine._

Hoseok swallows. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Junmyeon weaving through the guests near them, and he steps just a bit closer to Seokjin. He takes his hands, and Seokjin _lets him_ , even squeezes his hands back and leans closer. “Sorry, he’s standing right over there.” Seokjin shrugs, giving permission with one of his twinkly smiles. “What do you mean ‘if it’s me’?”

Seokjin pauses, biting his lip just a little, and then quirks his mouth to the side in a cute half-smile. “The only other people I’d think of are Namjoon and Yoongi, but I doubt they’d ever agree to be married to anyone but each other. So, I guess it’s just you.”

_I’m glad it’s you._ Hoseok has to hand it to Seokjin. He has a phenomenal ability to both make Hoseok feel like he’s got a chance for happiness and is finally on that precipice of enlightenment and to make him feel like he’s thousands of years away from that point, struggling to get himself to his feet. It’s not a good feeling, nor is it a bad feeling. It’s just a feeling, and Hoseok is tired. 

“Well, good,” Hoseok tells him. “We should tell the others, just so, y’know, no one blows our cover.”

“You tell Yoongi,” Seokjin tells him. “I’m not strong enough today and he’s too on edge because Namjoon’s still not back yet from Africa. You know how he can be.” 

“I’ll only do it because I love you,” Hoseok tells him. It just slips out, just like it always does. Always.

Seokjin pauses, then suddenly laughs stepping away and pointing at Hoseok as if he’s just done something extremely clever. “Nice touch,” he says, grinning beautifully. He pauses, a few feet from Hoseok, and just looks at him before saying, “thank you.”

“For what?”

“Having my back,” Seokjin says, voice just a bit softer.

“I’ve always got your back,” Hoseok tells him, honestly, open, genuine. “Usually I have your front too, and now apparently I’ve got you for life. At least as far as Junmyeon knows.” With that, Seokjin gives one final almost laughing smile, and steps away towards the refreshments bar for another water.

At the next break, the whole band comes down, winding down the show of the reception and getting ready for the last set. Hoseok and Seungwan (who keeps throwing Hoseok knowing looks) get most everyone filled in quickly, but Yoongi standing in front of him looking tired and hot has Hoseok knowing he’s in for a reality smack.

“So,” Hoseok begins. 

One look. That’s all Yoongi needs to say, “what did you do this time?”

“Seokjin and I are pretending to be married so some creep doesn’t try to take advantage of him after the wedding,” Hoseok says, very quickly, because it’s easier to get it all out and run than to be clear and reasonable. Yoongi is also the only person who really knows, really has known Hoseok for long enough to _know him_ , and Hoseok knows Yoongi will see the full spectrum of his better than even he himself wants to.

Despite how Yoongi can be blunt, realistic to the point of caustic, and is never one to resist calling someone out on their shit, he is also one of the most compassionate and caring people Hoseok has ever met. It’s probably because of this that Yoongi doesn’t say, “you’re an idiot” like Hoseok wants him to so this is easy. Yoongi doesn’t sigh and throw him that sort of suffering look that Hoseok knows means concern and slight disappointment.

Yoongi does the worst thing he possibly could do and just looks at him, eyes flickering between Hoseok’s as if carefully slipping past all the layers of Hoseok to see him for what he really is. Yoongi lets out a soft breath and says, “that hurts.”

Yoongi does the one thing that no one else can do. He speaks the truth.

“Nah,” Hoseok says, because the truth hurts. It hurts a lot more than he’s ready to think about today (or ever). It’s easier to listen to Seokjin’s laughter, to see the amusement of others, and to watch the defeat on Junmyeon’s face. “It’s fine.”

Yoongi doesn’t answer, because they both know the truth. “So,” he says instead. “If someone asks?”

“We’re married,” Hoseok confirms, grateful for the movement of the conversation.

Yoongi doesn’t say, “congratulations.” Yoongi, like the asshole he is and the best friend Hoseok will never let go of, says, “I’m sorry.” Then, “does Seokjin know?”

“That we’re married?” Hoseok asks. “Yeah, I told him as soon as I could. Kind of hard to have a fake husband who doesn’t know he’s your fake husband.”

“Fair,” Yoongi agrees. “Don’t let it go too far.”

“I won’t,” Hoseok tells him, shrugging off the air of seriousness that settles with Yoongi’s tone an words. “I promise.”

At this, Yoongi rolls his eyes, and all is as it usually is. Before either of them can say more, Chanyeol arrives with more pieces of wedding cake and a thermos of tea he’d smuggled in from one of the local cafes in town, pushing it into Youngsun’s and Seokjin’s hands. The break is a bit longer as people mingle together, and when Junmyeon glances over, Hoseok is the one who’s surprised when Seokjin steps closer and wraps an arm around him, snug around his waist.

The grin he gets is amused, playful, and teasing, and Hoseok is so gone, so stupid over him, and is probably going to stay that way despite better judgment.

“I’m glad you were able to come out and fill in as manager today,” Seokjin tells him, leaning in to speak close to his ear. “I’m glad you were here anyway. It’s always better with you around.” Seokjin’s breath tickles over his cheek as he lets out a breath and a smile. “Husband.” A soft laugh.

“Someone had to play the tambourine,” Hoseok answers, pushing down the shiver that runs through him and the ache in his limbs. He closes his eyes and decides, for right now, to see things the way Seokjin does, in a positive light. 

All things considered, it’s actually a beautiful day.

**Author's Note:**

> My deepest thanks and regards to my amazing support team and brainstorming betas, A and R, without whom this would not be possible and who I give my deepest thanks and swelling admiration to. Thank you so much.
> 
> I was unable to bring this piece to it's full potential, but perhaps one day, with love and care, it can grow into the great entity that I once envisioned it to be :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed your experience ~


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